I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
