I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
