maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
