areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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