so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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