Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
