He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I want to fling myself into the sun
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
