i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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