Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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