I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We're too hungover to prance.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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