We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
