Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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