Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
