when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
