I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
