I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
