i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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