I hate all girls vehemently.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
