he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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