I wannas sexs uuuuu
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize