Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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