Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
