Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize