Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Watching her eat just hurts me
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
