I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
