doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
