what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
