i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
