I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Your cock deserves a montage
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
