Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
