I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
this will be a night to untag.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
