im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
