Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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