yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize