i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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