His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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