I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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