and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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