Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize