Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
