New invention idea: vibrating tampons
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
