woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
