Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i dont even know how to be here
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
