so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
