He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
