So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
