I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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