Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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