I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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