i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
