I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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