dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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