hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
