y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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