she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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