its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
