Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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