your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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