very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
